Learning to navigate major troubles

By Rayan Abdulkadir

Q. I'm just starting in college. I haven't picked a major, but my mom wants me to do something high-paying, like nursing or sonography. I want to do something more creative, like art or journalism. What should I do?

Dear Reader, Thank you so much for your question, and an even greater thanks for your vulnerability. The first thing I would like to say is that you are not alone. I went through this myself my freshman year. I initially applied to another school for dental hygiene. For months, I tried to convince myself it was what I wanted, even though I never did that well in science, nor did I want to stick my hand in someone's mouth and scrape plaque off of their teeth.

I fantasized about painting and creating a different life, but I pushed it down until I couldn't anymore. I got rejected from the program and was faced with a harsh reality. Do I try again, or do something for myself? I was so worried that if I chose something that wasn't healthcare or STEM, I wouldn't make any money or make my parents proud.

As I was doing the remainder of my college applications, I realized they weren't coming to college with me. I would be doing this alone, and if I was going to do this alone, I deserved to pick a major and build a life for myself that is meaningful.

As young adults, we get so caught up in pleasing people that we forget who we are. While it may not seem like a big deal to pick a major that your parents like, you will start to question why you are spending thousands on a degree you never even wanted. It's important to pick something that aligns with your values, not just your parents'.

It's normal to want to make them happy, and you will. Your resilience, intelligence, and perseverance will give you the skills and your ability to be independent and make your own informed decisions. Inside each of us lies a world of intuition. You will know when what you choose feels right. I ask you not to ignore that feeling. The fact that you are even asking these questions is a sign that you should not ignore.

I ask that you talk to people about the life you want to build, read about careers you see yourself in, and go with what feels most natural to you, whether that be nursing or art and design. Even if you realize that you might not have chosen the right path, you are in charge of your life, your education and your well-being. That means acknowledging when it's time for a change.

This life is so deeply nuanced, and there is no one way of living it. Growing into an educated young person will come with its fair share of awkward conversations and growing pains, but it is temporary. One day, a few years from now, you will bask in your success and see this moment as a reminder of your strength.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors, and I hope that you are guided towards a path that makes you feel fulfilled.