Encouragement but make it condescending

By Amirah Idris

“The smile before the dismissal” 

Do you ever wonder what your professor genuinely thinks about you? Can you honestly say that your professor 100% likes you as a student? 

Sometimes the smallest comments leave the loudest echoes. The “nice job” that doesn’t quite sound like praise. The “interesting idea” that somehow feels like the end of a conversation instead of the start of one. It’s strange how words meant to encourage can carry a tone that reminds you of where the power really sits. 

Maybe it’s not intentional. Maybe it’s just the rhythm of academia — the hierarchy, the formality, the unspoken rule that students should sound confident but never too confident. You learn to read between the lines, to translate every “you’re doing fine” into its real meaning. 

There’s a quiet exhaustion in constantly wondering how you’re perceived. Are you being supported, or politely dismissed? You start questioning if “feedback” is actually meant to help you grow, or just to keep you in place. 

But still, you keep showing up. You keep raising your hand, sending drafts and asking questions. Because despite the tone, you’re not looking for approval anymore. You’re looking for honesty. Respect. Recognition without the fine print. 

And maybe that’s the lesson beneath all the polite smiles: learning how to separate genuine encouragement from the kind that’s just performance. 

No matter what, don’t let your professors define who you are. You earned your spot here. You are not their tone, their grading comments, or their quiet disbelief in your potential. You are your own proof. Keep going, even if their smile comes before the dismissal.